Mind Searching For Me?

by Kaeru

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about

Mind Searching For Me?

Is a collection of songs that speak of the eternal dance of losing and finding our minds.

It touches on mania, depression, creativity, self driven destruction and self driven determination.

The relationship between sanity and craziness and the creative potential they both hold.

All of these songs were recorded freestyle without any preparation, writing or composition - except for "Piece Of Mind" which had been mostly written down before recording.
That means that all of these words, melodies and feelings came directly from my twisted mind and into the microphone - unfiltered and unashamed.

credits

released October 8, 2016

I'd like to thank my Bi-Polar order - for giving me the inconsistent mind necessary to experience such rich, emotional depths.

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about

Kaeru Melbourne, Australia

Kaeru makes music. Soulful music, personal music, Earth music, happy music, sad music.. Whatever needs to be expressed ;)
It's his main purpose and his first passion.

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Track Name: Piece Of Mind
From the forest to the city, to the mountains by the sea
To the canyon and the valley - have you seen a guy called me?
I've been searching all the corners and haven't found him yet
Maybe he's looking too, maybe we've already met
When we catch each other up I've got a piece of mind for him
He's got the other piece for me - we can trade and start again

I'm writing a diary from the perspective of a tree
It's not what it sounds like - It's symbolic
It means a lot to me - It's symbolic

From the forest to the city, to the mountains by the sea
To the canyon and the valley - have you seen a guy called me?
I've been searching all the corners and haven't found him yet
Maybe he's looking too, maybe we've already met
When we catch each other up I've got a piece of mind for him
He's got the other piece for me - we can trade and start again

But what if he was here the whole time next to me?
Would it be a waste of time to be searching endlessly?
Would it be a waste of time in my destiny to search and search and never find the other piece of my mind.
Who could have it if it's not right here?
Well if it is it isn't clear..
Track Name: I Always Sing About
I always sing about trees and death and things
And about my mother
I sing a lot of songs about my feelings for my lover
I write a lot of songs about freedom and the road
And right now I'm singing about everything I know
And everything I know amounts to nothing - It's worth nothing at all
Everything I have seen means nothing at all
All of my experiences don't mean much to you
But who am I talking to? There's no one here but me..
I'm on my own in this moment and I can see
That sometimes I'm alone in moments that they are here with me
Who are they, are they the common people?
Who are they, are they religious people?
Who are they, are they working people?
Who are they, are they normal people?
Who are they, are they real people?
Who are they, imaginary people?

I'd like to say that I can't tell what's real anymore
But that wouldn't be quite true
That would insinuate that I have lost my mind
And I haven't quite yet - but if you find it, could you let me know?
Track Name: Crash and Pull Away
I know that I'm in control
I know that I'm powerful
I know that it's up to me
Then why do I make these choices?
Why do I make these choices?
What is it that tantalises me to play in the shadows and live life for free
What is it that compels me to make the same mistakes again and again

I must be crazy
I must be nuts
I must be insane
I must not know what's what

But I just strut
I just strut

But look at the way you walk sometimes, it doesn't match the way you talk sometimes
Look at the way you walk sometimes, it doesn't match the way you walk sometimes
Look at yourself, look at yourself
Look at the choices that you made
Look at yourself, look at yourself
Look at the way that you behave
I know you don't want to but you got to face it
I know you don't want to but you got to embrace it
I know you don't want to - but it's part of you
Do you want to let go of that part and make room for another part?
Or do you just want to hold on to it until it's so big that it doesn't fit
Do you just want to hold on to it, just hold on to it.

But what are you holding on to, it is hurting you
And I hate to see you hurting, I hate it so much
I hate to see you hurting, I just want to touch you
and make you feel good
and make you feel pretty
and make you feel alive
Alive

And I don't want to put you in the naughty corner cause I know it's not your fault
I see that you do the best you can to do just what you're told
But you are told so many things, where do you begin?
You are told so many things, oh where oh where oh where to begin..
And what if some of those things contradict each other?
What if some of those things don't make sense?
What if those things are dangerous, what if those things will hurt you
Would you do them anyway just because they told you to

Would you jump off of that cliff, just because I did?
Would you jump off that cliff, just because I did tell you that you have to.
Oh I told you that you have to.
When I told you that you have to, I didn't really mean it
I didn't really mean it

You are free to do what you want to do
Do as thou wilt shall be the law
Do as thou wilt shall be the law that you abide by
That you abide by

And you can have whatever you want now as long as it doesn't hurt others
But don't listen to me. No don't listen to me.

Just listen to the wind

And the birds when they sing
And the crickets chirping
And the sound of the waves as they crash and pull away

And the sound of the waves as they Crash and Pull Away
Track Name: Artificial Cave
What is this cave I'm sitting in?
There's so many walls
Not enough light coming from outside
Everything is artificial
Nothing in here is real
Nothing in here is wonderful
Nothing makes me feel
Like I want to do anything or get outside and live life
I just want to sit in my room and close the curtains and sleep

It's the most uninspiring environment that I could ever find myself in
..But here i am creating
Oh what is it about uncomfortableness that makes me be my best, that makes me do more?
What is it about feeling unsatisfied that makes me want to satisfy my hunger?
What is it about seeing what is wrong and wanting to be part of the solution?
Not the problem

But that's the problem - I AM!
I am part of the problem
And so are you - yeah so are you - yes you are - don't lie to yourself anymore
You are part of it and more
You are here to explore but you've been stuck inside an artificial cave
With no natural lighting and nothing exciting could happen any time soon
Even if it did you would look the other way
Change the channel, change the station just do whatever it takes to ignore what you know
To Ignore what is wrong
To ignore the fact we destroy the planet we are from

Why would you treat your home like that?

Why would you put up those walls?
Between you and your neighbour

Why would you want to live inside anyway?
You can't feel the air, you can't feel the Sun, you can't feel the Earth, you can't see everyone
You're alone, isolated, alienated on your own
Lonely, lonely, lonesome loner sitting in a cave
With your artificial gadgets - isn't that great?

You lonely, lonely loner in that artificial cave with your artificial gadgets
Isn't that just great? Now you can say distracted, stay in denial
You can stay repressing your feelings for a while

We'll see how long it lasts then.
We'll see how long it lasts.
We'll see how long you can keep it up,
See how long before you blow up

Ooooh - You know you will
Track Name: Starving Artist
I'm a starving artist
But I got plenty of food
Got plenty of wine and women too
I got cocaine coming - and chicken wings
I got everything
I live like a king

But I'm still empty inside
There's nothing that fills me up
Yeah I'm still empty inside
There's nothing that fills me up

Cause I'm a starving artist
With plenty of food
I got plenty of wine and women too
I got cocaine coming with chicken wings
I got everything
I live like a king

But I'm still empty inside
There's nothing that fills me up
Oh I'm still empty inside
There is nothing that can fill me up

Cause I'm a starving artist with an empty cup
I'm a starving artist who refuses to eat
I'm a starving artist, I'd like to meet
I'm a starving artist that I'd like to meet

Cause fasting makes you faster and you accelerate
Fasting makes you faster makes you detoxicate
Fasting makes you faster than anyone
Faster, faster than the sun

A starving artist knows how to create with next to nothing
And I pretend I've got what I need to do the thing that I desire
Oooh

I'm a starving artist
I got plenty of food
Plenty of wine and men too
I got cocaine coming with chicken wings
I got everything I need
Oh I live like a king

But I don't have enough
I don't have enough

Cause all those things are fictional - they're all just in my head
All those things are fictional, what I have instead
Is my voice and my guitar and a laptop
It's cluttered to the shit house but it does the job

I can make beats
I can hit heats
I can do woo woo woos
Woo woo woah woah woahs

I can do with out eat-eat-eat-ing
But not for very long my body will shut down eventually
And I'm not talking about just eating food I'm talking
Metaphafuckuckorically

Cause Metaphafuckuckorically I'm a starving artist - thats me
I starve myself of love, myself of things, myself of food and myself of my wings
Myself of music and myself of happiness
Happiness

And through the starvation I develop appreciation
For the smallest things in life, the things that come for free
All the tiny things in life that can always comfort me
No matter what
No matter what
Track Name: Everything Is Beautiful
Life is beautiful, Love is beautiful
Death is beautiful and your breath is beautiful
Oh everything is beautiful
You are beautiful, I am beautiful
Oh we are beautiful and our love is beautiful
The world is beautiful oh the world is beautiful
Oh everything is beautiful
Birth is beautiful, the Earth is beautiful
Nature's beautiful - chaos beautiful
Consistency is beautiful and spontaneity is such a beauty. Oh it's such a beauty
Everything is beautiful
Pain is beautiful, pleasure is beautiful
Fears are beautiful, hopes are beautiful
Desires are beautiful and all your dreams are beautiful
All your skin is beautiful and all your hair is beautiful
All your flaws are beautiful, all your perfections beautiful
Everything is beautiful
The fire is beautiful, the water is beautiful, the air is beautiful, the plants are beautiful
The rocks are beautiful, the mud is beautiful, the swamp is beautiful, the flowers are so beautiful
Oh everything is beautiful

All these sounds are beautiful, all these smells are beautiful, all these senses are beautiful
The physical world is beautiful,
The spiritual is beautiful,
The mental world is beautiful